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15 June 2013 @ 06:15 pm
I want no part of life anymore after the day I had today.
12 June 2013 @ 10:33 pm
I just don't have the athletic ability for sports. I'm to short. But I don't like the idea of being a walking joke anymore either. So. No choice but to deal with the humiliation and letting people down.
11 June 2013 @ 10:37 am
I am having one of those days where I have no desire to do anything. I sit around on the computer and literally do nothing, and doing anything feels unrewarding. I have tried not paying for internet even, but I compromise by laying on my bed all day instead.

I hate low days. I have at least 5 times as many of these as I have manic days. The worst part is when my manic days produce little long lasting or memorable, I inspect it tough and comb in my down time and it makes me feel worse.
11 June 2013 @ 08:56 am
At least there will always be video games for me. They are always there. Never say no, never say they are to busy. It's always great living through someone else's lives because modern day society is so trivial and flat. best friend I've ever had.
10 June 2013 @ 06:39 am
I don't care for this feeling I get inside far to often. I wake up feeling like someone new, for no reason. Everything from yesterday feels foreign and not like me. The hope and dreams I made yesterday; the thoughts and projects I worked on - It's like they don't even exist.

I feel as if everyday I go through a soul rebirth. I wish for some form of continuity. I make plans, write out goals, an ideas what I want to do; but the next day they are invalid.
07 June 2013 @ 02:03 am
I can't explain why but every time I wake up from a long sleep I feel a form of psychosis. It's like everything from my past that put me where I am today rushes to me. It makes me feel like going back to sleep for hours everyday and I feel dazed and confused.

My ife isn't so bad. I don't understand why this is a problem.
06 June 2013 @ 01:15 am
Nothing about living on earth makes me all that happy. I'm getting fatter as time goes on. All I do is eat because everything makes me feel bored. All I can think about these days is when I eat next because I feel slow and lethargic.
15 May 2013 @ 07:26 am
You ever wake up one morning, and for no apparent reason you suddenly awaken from a dream about a person/people from your past well over a decade ago?

This happened to me this morning. So I checked all my friends here in consequence. I am not quite sure how I remembered the password but I did.

I am happy to see allot of my friends from times past have grown up to great lives.
21 July 2004 @ 06:30 am
Please show me the cure
Just gimme the feeling
Want some of that remedy
that gave my spirit healing

This body has been aching
Inner soul's just crying
you were the only drug
that kept me from dying

A whispering soft rain
Dark clouds line my heart
Building the undying pain
Tearing my inner soul apart

Wanting back the memories
That put smiles on our face
Days living in comfort
Within each other's embrace

We called it our heaven
The beauty of all dreams
Perfection in a moment
That's only how it seems

Apart now we are alone
A nightmare that is real
Lonelyness comforts me now
Something I hate to feel

That undying dream lived
Remembering where we been
Every night I cry lonesome
Feeling tears down my chin

Without you now is a world
Where I must be lonely
Happiness was our memory
The best, the one, the only